2008

Aug

I’m guessing that they meant to type MID-AMERICAN.

Fish Tacos at The Cheesecake Factory. Why do I love them...

3 Alarm Fire in middle right of picture just above black...

Ugh.

Dear Internet, Road Trip is over. I’ll update you soon. -Ryan

G'Nome

Aaron: I hope you won't be mad but Jackie didn't leave me a key under the gnome and ...
Ryan: Can we go pick one up, I'm guessing?
Aaron: Yeah.
Ryan: Wait. Theres a gnome?

Going Fast. Bright Sun. Lots o’ Luggage. Photo Credit:...

Goodbye

Dear Internet, We are leaving Austin now. Hmm. Driving…

FreeB!rds! YUM! I love this place! Photo Credit: Ryan Bauer....

On the way to Austin from Dallas we stopped at KD’s...

New Wardrobe

Dear Internet, This site design decorating in here bores me. I think I’ll get some help in...

Austin City

Dear Internet, We are in Austin. I went for a run. Not so good. It’s hot. Cranky. Went to the...

I got Ken to indulge in the sushi starter, seared ahi...

Road Trip Lessons, Part 24

Mom: I can't imagine you spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with anyone, let alone with three people.
Me: I know. This is teaching me so much, especially about relationships...
Mom: Like?
Me: Well, you know that I'm not good at them, I'm not the date-able kind of guy...so maybe I'll learn how to put up with shit alot better, cause when you date men there is alot of shit you have to put up with.
Mom: Hmmm.

Trying on clothes at Armani. I bought this shirt. I look...

I’m so cute. No seriously, I am. It’s like...

Blockhead Ken’s lunch. Photo Credit: Ryan Bauer....

My lunch. Miso Salmon. Photo Credit: Ryan Bauer. Powered by...

Yum!

At grand lux cafe in Dallas! -Powered by Tumblr Mobile.

The Digits

Dear Internet, I just gave my phone number to this guy. Dear Baby Jesus, All I want for Christmas is...

Road Trip Update

Dear Internet, We have been to: Illinois Wisconsin Ohio Indiana West...

Fiesta!

Briggie: Did you make it out of the Mexican ghetto alive?
Me: Yeah. I almost picked up this guy walking shirtless...ya know, asked him if he need a ride...but I chickened out.
Briggie: I just ate cereal with whole milk and we are going to three garage sales.
Me: I forgot that you are in Iowa for a wedding.
Briggie: Yeah, we might go to Applebees.
Me: Get the Fiesta Lime Chicken.
Briggie: How do you know that?
Me: I'm on a road trip across America.

theworldaccordingtolala: Life is full of surprises. Mine...

“Being a gay man is like being in a pyramid scheme....”
— How I explain things.

WOW!

I am so happy! I just ran into…hah-hah…one of my favorite...

I’m famous (with the gays). “Mason Wyler”...

I am at a liquor store in Dallas, Texas. The shop owner...

Jul

“You have plently of fish to bite.”
— I said this. I think I either...

I ALWAYS build a nest.

Tour Issues

Dear Internet, As you know I am on a road rules style road trip across the country. So, sometimes we...

“the intern” should be a new sex move just like the “sneaky...”
— My friends try to come up with...

Dried Mustard

There is some dried mustard on my leg. It has been there since yesterday. I love not showering on...

johnnyfive: whoaineedyou: antoinetta: bellechoses: WWII...

Tired

Dear Internet, As you know I am on a tour of America. And this isn’t exactly how I imagined...

At the NASCAR race. From outside the Suite. Photo Credit:...

At the NASCAR race. Photo Credit: Ryan Bauer. Powered by...

At the NASCAR race. Inside the Suite. Photo Credit: Ryan...

Global Ghetto Positioning System

Dear Internet, Why does our GPS keep giving us a tour of the most socially and economically...

At the tanning salon. Umm…”everything...

Ken’s perfect waffle. YUM! Photo Credit: Ryan Bauer....

Frenchy Vodka Love

Dear Internet, Last night I sang karaoke. I know, weird, right? Anyway. I got super wasted and it...

Pulling a Spears in Times Square.

Me So Happy

NYC Purchases: Armani Sunglasses Philip Patek Watch Hermes Cologne Louis Vuitton Wallet Bottled...

My Type

Dear Internet, My “type” is kinda chochy. Sadly.

We ate it all. Happy Birthday Ken! Welcome to...

Trashy Lil Bar

We are at a trashy lil bar in Chinatown, NYC. And having the time of our lives. Powered by Tumblr...

Chinatown. Photo Credit: Ryan Bauer. Powered by Tumblr...

World Trade Center Site. Photo Credit: Ryan Bauer. Powered...

In New York. Again.

Dear Internet, Yesterday I awoke in the nicest hotel in Buffalo, NY. Went to Canada to see Niagara...

yourdp: Here’s to 3 years of loyalty, dedication, and hard...

Won't happen when Obama is President

Sunset

We are driving through syracuse/upstate new york. AMAZING SUNSET. -Powered by Tumblr Mobile

We are at Niagara Falls in Canada. Took this picture with my...

WTF is this? Why am I standing that way. ALSO, take those...

The Office

Dear Internet, That guy who used to be the intern on The Office is cute. Seriously.

“do you guys remember your first boners?”
— Things my friends say.

“If she gives kevin a blowjob she better not mess up my...”
— Things my friends say.

Perhaps a Mirror Would Help

What is it about this picture that I love?

Birthday

Dear Internet, It’s my birthday. I’m 28. Or so I am telling people. Because I think it...

Almost

Dear Internet, It is ALMOST! my Birthday. Tomorrow we are going to Cedar Point. I can’t wait....

“Yeah, everyone has heard of the Houdini or the Dirty...”
— Blockhead Ken on the way from...

At a Hispanic bakery in Elk Grove Village, IL. Nothing in...

randyhaddock: J & R on the LIRR Ryan responds: Cute....

gAAy

zachattack: Erin and I are attending an Alcaholics Anonymous meeting for gays tonight. This should...

White Sox Game

Dear Internet, Made it to a White Sox Game. They won. It was amazing. I had a great time. Just two...

“We need a Pitcher, not a glass of water!”
— Overheard at the Sox game...

Torsos and Feet. Downtown Chicago.

zetahydrae: I enjoy this new gauge for fame. On a...

Highlander

Aaron: What was your high school mascot?
Kenneth: Highlanders.
Me: Like the TV show?

“He could sell ketchup to a woman wearing white gloves.”
— RE: Someone at Dell Corp...

Jun

I’m in the middle. Obviously. Well…ok. Maybe...

Fed Double Ex

shutupinternet: On the way to work I saw a “FedEx Express” truck. Isn’t that a little redundant,...

Dear Internet, Quite possibly the best shirt I have seen in...

Chicago

Dear Internet, I wish I could write more, but Chicago makes me tired. REALLY TIRED.

How can you not get lost?

jackieheartsb: via www.gapingvoid.com Ryan repsonds: See...

WTF

Dear Internet, We have been in middle America for a few weeks now and the one consistency we have...

The Milwaukee Arts Musuem. Looks kinda like a vagina. Try...

The L

Dear Internet, Made it to Chicago. Yay! We tried to go to the Cubs game tonight, but traffic was...

caro: See that last item? NUTELLA PIZZA. OMG. Ryan responds:...

Gays in my area - the breakdown:

planettampon: 50% - aged 35 plus and desperate. 10% - bisexual, not out and tanned. 20%...

F’ Real, y’all.

The Hamptons for Milwaukee

Dear Internet, We just got back from Kenosha, Wisconsin. I referred to it as the Hamptons for...

Notice the Jeep. Yes. I am one of those people who stops to...

How did they even manage to do this?

“Guslims. It means Gay Muslims. And they study Jizzlam.”
— My friend Aaron. The...

Crazy

Dear Internet, Things are crazy. I have so much to tell you. I love and miss you but I am really...

What is it with Wisconsin and their Root Beer?

Bahman

Dear Internet, The tour has started and my friend Aaron keeps saying, “Bahman.” You...

I like it how you do it dat der. umm. is this hilljack or...

It has begun.

Dear Internet, My plane did not crash. A bonus: they served warm chocolate chip cookies on my...

My Fans!

Dear Internet, I love exclamation points. Seriously. I sent an email to everyone on the Tumblr...

“When my hands are dry I just wipe the oil of my forehead and...”
— Overheard at my doctor’s...

Almost Gone

Dear Internet, I have finished moving my personal items to my parents house so I can fly out...

Moving Day

Dear Internet, I’m moving today.

“I got a shirt for you at Chipotle today. It says ‘Hómo...”
— My Brother.

Personal Update

Dear Internet, I had my last personal training session today before I leave on my four month cross...

“I didn’t think he was gay. At all. Despite everything...”
— Me.

A Story That Doesn't Make Sense.

Photo of me. (Photo Credit: Ray Tyson)

Things that bother me.

Is anyone else following both Jakob and Julia? The following dashboard is in alphabetical order so...

“Dissent is the highest form of patriotism”
— Howard Zinn. You were thinking...

Passport to Poverty

ryanbauer: Dear Internet, Why does getting a U.S. Passport cost $120? That seems excessive....

jakehurwitz: Kunal is one of my favorite people in the...

.PDF

Magda: Eww...PDA...guys!
Offenders: Really? PDA? Do you even know what that means?
Madga (laughs): Yes! It is just like PDF!
Me: Umm I don't think Adobe file extensions and PDA have anything in common.
Offenders: Seriously? PDF?
Magda: Public Display of Fucking!

Last Night

Dear Internet, Last night got a little…umm…crazy. I slept in the same bed with a...

I’m blogging live from the “after-party.”...

“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of...”
— Oscar Wilde

I see you up there…looking down on me. Now grant me MY...

Phone Conversation

Mom: Hello?
Me: It's your son.
Mom: Hi. How are you?
Me: Fine. Is you middle name Kathryn?
Mom: Yes.
Me: How do you spell it? Also I need your birthdate.
Mom: (spells Kathryn) Why do you need my birthday? Are you suing me?
Me: No. I'm filling out this passport application.
Mom: Oh. (gives birthday).
Me: Ok. Thanks!
Mom: Bye.
(ed. note: that conversation summarizes our entire relationship)

Passport to Poverty

Dear Internet, Why does getting a U.S. Passport cost $120? That seems excessive. Agree?

What Happens When You Work at NASCAR

My roomate and I found this orange shaped lemon at the store...

I was looking around for a new song to wake up to. I found this and I really like, but perhaps not...

david: Oh… Oh dear. (via caro) Ryan responds: A disturbing...

The "Rash"

Dear Internet, Yes, you read the title correctly. Yesterday I went for a run. A three mile run which...

Im changing the song I wake up to in the morning to this. I hope that I roll out of bed laughing. I...

A Dry Heat

Me: It is so f-ing hot right now. Do you think it is this hot in Hell or is it hotter?
Roommate: No. It is totally hotter in hell. But it is a dry heat.
Me: Oh, that is sooo much better.

The opening picture for my new reality show. Minus the...

I love this blog.

tumblrfail: Ryan HAHAHAHA!!!!

My blog is (also) now at www. ryan bauer blog...

Calling it

Im calling it on 06/06/2008 1:06PM. Obama Selections: Jim Webb VP Joe Biden Secretary of...

Everyone else is tumbleloging about Obama…so I...

Leaving.....

Dear Internet, It is official. I’m 100% in. I leave in 10 days. So excited!

Appropriate, considering it is very, very true.

zachattack: School of stingrays. (via Towleroad) Ryan...

I’m in love. Link to more of it.

Mussels, Wine, Martinis and Boobs. The perfect night out....

Weather, WTF.

Dear Internet, Yesterday it was so cold it felt good to be in jeans and a hoody. Last night, on the...

Linked In

Dear Internet, I worked on my linkedin profile until 2AM last night. Also, I had gotten up at...

How Long?

david: Em dash isn’t long enough for me. I need a loooooooong dash. Ryan responds: Oh, the gays and...

“He’s not gay, he’s European.”
— My friend Magda, regarding her...

Overserved

Dear Internet, 1. Drunk blogging (see below) is the new drunk dialing. 2. Do NOT let me eat things...